Decisions

// No real introduction for this music video. Faye's voice is just very pretty, and I need something to brighten up the gloom, even if it is a dramatic song. \\

Presented with the opportunity to escape the situation I've found myself in, a feeling of trepidation creeps in unbidden. Stay the course, stay strong, and stay focused...

After a long conversation with Ben and Ngoc, the possibility of moving out crept up. The idea of living in Texas isn't too appealing, considering the weather and the sheer distance from my current circle of friends, but let's be realistic. While I do adore my core set of acquaintances, I rarely spend any time with them, perhaps meeting up once a month or so for a brief drinking excursion or movie adventure. I wish we were closer, but we all have our commitments, and our interests often clash. Besides, they seem comfortable enough without me. I can always adapt to the weather/stay indoors hugging the A/C unit.

The issue of the brother does come up though, and it's a rather serious thing to contemplate. I love him, no doubt, but he brings problems to the table that are hardly dismissable. I don't know if I could handle it, his problems... it's hard enough handling it over the phone, I can't imagine dealing with it in person on even a weekly basis. I know I joke about dying early, but the stress from having to carry his burdens probably would shave off years from my already short stack.

Another option would be Wisconsin, but I don't quite know about that. Ben did offer first, and it would seem a bit rude to opt for someone else. But it's Wisconsin, and the presence of snow is so alluring. I don't know how well I'd fare outside of the metropolitan setting I'm used to, but I guess I'd adapt for a few years. The lack of asians might be a bit unsettling, but it's not like I'm looking for someone to settle down with up there; I just need a change of scenery for a while.

The problem with either option is that I'd be imposing and become a burden.

I feel too old to be doing this sort of stuff, but young enough that I can't quite establish my own roots. What should I do...

~ Kesshi, FXC